How Romattitude has worked for me, and will work for you too
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Sooooo... What is there to rant about these days? I could rant about how I have just escaped the "new" generation. I could complain about how much I hate Edge, and that Edge's theme music by Rob Zombie almost makes me hate him more if that were possible. Or I could even complain about how BHCW is hardcore, even though we are a bunch of pussies. But NO! I will not complain. I shall tell you about the time I saw some guy in a restuarant and I didn't feel that he was practising Romattitude properly and I felt that I had to take corrective action.
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So who was this guy?
This young man went by the name of Eddy, but not the Eddie we know in BHCW (or of course, not know cuz we dunno what he looks like). But I was given a text message by one of my associates saying that someone in my local McDonalds has suddenly taken a disliking to the teachings of Romattitude by ordering an Xtra large coca cola. This is a huge sin in the teachings of Romattitude because, as everyone knows, you can never finish an entire Xtra large coke without throwing a little bit of it away. This is also a sin becuase it wastes 10p of your hard-earned money, which could have easily been spent on more worthy causes like a tray or a postcard.
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So I flew out of my Batcave (Bedroom) immeadiatly and ran with i blind fury to the McDonalds in question. There, my good friend Oddy informed me he that he threw 1/5 of his coke away and was about to leave. When I said "Where is this person?" He said "He's just over there. I believe his name is Eddy".
So I shouted Eddy, and lo and behold, this smiling black guy turned around and smiled at me and says "Hello, what can I do you for?"
I took a picture of him immediatly and then proseeded to Sweet Chin Music him so hard his face imploded.
2 days after correcting Eddy's perception of what Romattitude was, I decided to go and see how he was doing in hospital and ask him if he wanted to be taught how to practice Romattitude properly.
This was what I was greated with...
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Eddy before
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Eddy after
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Yes, I hit him so hard I mangled his face to unreparable damage, kicked the pigment out of his skin and removed around 70 pounds of Eddy from him. This man has been garenteed that he will never walk again so I managed to convince him to practice Romattitude properly and build up his upper body since the rest of him is useless and you need some arm power to get up the steeper disabled ramps.
Mike Omega, if you hadn't guessed already, this entire column was dedicated to you. This Tuesday, you will become just another victim of The sensei of Romattitude, Jamie Romero Version 1.0.
Do the smart thing and don't even bother showing up and you won't end up like our good friend Eddy here.
Remember, whether you like me or not, learn to love me cuz i'm the best thing going, WOOOOOOOOOOOO.
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